Cankles and Constipation: Pregnant at 49

Seriously, are no cool blogs from women my age who are pregnant? I'm sure there are but I'm not finding any. What I'm finding is advice that I'll definitely need at some point, but mostly from women 10, 20 years younger than me. Which is nice, but seriously, ladies, there's a whole different journey happening here though, narrowly getting my first pregnancy in on time before menopause. Quite possibly I’ll hit hot flashes as my kid takes his first steps.  So, I'm pretty sure that there's some conversation to be had about the body changes when you're growing a human inside a body nearing 50.  Also, life changes: it's a different kind of journey to be on when you've been doing life the way you've been doing life all along as a solo traveller through the world and then, bam, you meet your sole mate (or you go to a sperm bank, whatever) and the urge to procreate that was never there before shows up a bit late in life.  It's amazing, don't get me wrong. I couldn't be more thrilled, but as I sit on my couch with swollen feet, heels experiencing sharp jabbing pains my chiropractor says is due to pregnancy induced sciatica, it would be nice to be in conversation with someone my own age.  Let's get real: "Geriatric Pregnancy" is a shitty term.  Facebook already targets me for AARP Ads way before I need them, and I can see the grey hair peek out beneath my dyed-blonde roots I can’t touch up as often, the grooves on my lined face.  The celebrity photos of women like Kim Kardashian teetering in sky high heels with a huge baby bump make me wanna eat more donuts. Thank god I'm pregnant during the colder months as I can tell Uggs are gonna be my favorite shoes.  The heels that I love are all boxed away. 

So I'll write. It's a strange, new world and I'm a snarky poetic writer, so I'll just write my way through it and maybe through it I'll find some others on the journey.  It's not going to be all pretty and poetic like what I try to do with my other kind of writing (songs, stories, long run on sentence facebook posts in the middle of the night), but I swear it'll be real. Like, really real. Gas and all.

So, welcome to my new blog.  Now will someone go get me a cheeseburger?